I See Her
by KeishaBird
Summary: Written for the Remember When This Was Fun contest


I See Her

by KeishaBird for the Remember When This Was Fun contest

He said he was skipping first period but he never mentioned skipping the entire day. As I walked out the doors of the Forks High School gym into the drizzly Pacific Northwest afternoon, I didn't see his car in the student parking lot much to my chagrin. I could understand Edward ditching school. I couldn't stand to be ditched as well. But that's the thing about every day of my life - if there's no Edward, it's crap.

Someone called my name as I found shelter under the walkway cover and was digging my phone out of my messenger bag. I distractedly turned around to see Carlisle rushing toward me.

"Hey! Good, I caught you," he said breathing heavily. His last class is Drama with Mr. Banner on the other side of the school so he must have been in a full on run to catch me.

"Hi, Carlisle. Have you seen Edward?" I asked him while pulling out my phone to check for messages.

"I'm good. Thanks so much for asking," he said sarcastically and then cleared his throat. "I have not seen the love of your life, Esme, and if you don't know where he is then no one does."

I flinched. I was raised better than to be rude to a good friend. The friend that let me cry on his shoulder for weeks after my Mom died when we were in 8th Grade. His compassion is incalculable and I keep urging him to be a counselor or a doctor.

I apologetically smiled. "I'm sorry, C. I'm glad you had a good day. I truly am. I'm just a little worried about Edward right now. Forgive me?" I asked, biting my lip and looking up through my lashes.

This time it looked like _he_ was going to cry. "I'm so sorry, Es. I was only kidding. Dammit, I messed everything up!" he said rushing his words out. "What's wrong with Masen?" he asked.

"You didn't mess anything up. And I'm not sure if anything's wrong, I just wasn't expecting him to be gone all day," I explained.

"Well," Carlisle said and dug into his pocket for his car keys. "Only one way to find out. Let's go check in on him."

"I can drive myself you know. I had a really good teacher," I said and winked since it was Carlisle that taught me how to drive in the parking lot of Newton's Sporting Goods store.

Carlisle blushed. "And you were a fine student, Miss Esme. I don't think my Dad's car misses its clutch at all," he teased. I swatted at him. "Come on," he said motioning his head toward his car and slowly started walking backward toward it. "Humor me. It's so boring at home when my Dad is busy preparing his Sunday sermon."

I couldn't argue with that. Since my Mom died, my house is quiet as a tomb when Charlie is on duty at the police station. Sometimes even when he's home. That's why I started spending so much time at Edward's house. Mrs. Masen discovered I loved playing the piano and invited me over to play their vintage Steinway. Their music room became my mourning heart's convalescing home.

Carlisle unlocked the passenger door and opened it for me, always the gentleman. I got into the once familiar car and unlocked the driver's door before putting my messenger bag in the back seat. Carlisle opened his door while I was putting my seatbelt on. "You have just passed the Friend Test by unlocking my door," he announced. "I shall now reciprocate by giving you control of the radio," he said smiling and using his hands to showcase his car's radio like he was Vanna White.

I playfully gasped and fanned my face like I had seen Miss America do when they were announced the winner and then wiped away fake tears. We both hysterically laughed and he started up the car. His old Mercedes only _had_ a radio so I started scanning the stations as he drove us out of the student parking lot and into the great metropolis of Forks, Washington.

Carlisle and I hadn't really hung out alone together since Edward and I started going out, we just always ended up in a group. But now I was really happy we were getting the chance. I always asked him when he would get a girlfriend so we could double date and I wouldn't have to listen to he and Edward talk about the stupid Mariners all the time. He would always just say, "I'll know the right one when I see her."

We pulled up to Edward's house on the edge of town. I could see Edward's Volvo in the garage. I asked out loud, "why would he be home and not call all day?"

Carlisle shrugged. We walked up to the side door and knocked. And knocked. We walked to the front of the house and rang the bell. I heard scuffling on the other side of the door as my hand was going up to knock again. Mrs. Masen opened the door with a smile on her face but she looked tired.

"Oh Esme, so good to see you as always. Carlisle, hi! I hope you weren't waiting long. I was upstairs helping Edward to the bathroom," she said ushering us in.

Carlisle and I looked at each other confused. "Why, Mrs. Masen?" I asked.

"For the millionth time, dear, please call me Elizabeth. I'm all for respecting your elders, I just refuse to think of myself as one!" she giggled.

We all laughed. Oh, how I loved this woman!

Carlisle spoke first. "We respectfully decline to be so formal. May we counter with 'Lady E'?" he asked.

Edward's mom blushed. "Deal," she said and we all shook hands. "Now that that's cleared up, why did you look at me like I had grown a second nose when I mentioned Edward?"

"Well, Mrs. Mas- I mean, Lady E, we were just surprised. What's wrong with Edward?" I asked.

She sighed. "He didn't tell you? He has a terrible flu. He's pretty gross," she said scrunching her nose up. "But that's my only baby so his father will say I'm treating him like he has Spanish Influenza or something." She said this while rolling her eyes at her husband.

I chuckled and coughed. "That's exactly what Mr. Masen would say. Can we see him? Edward, I mean?" I asked her.

She sighed again. "It's your nose," she said as way of warning and started leading us to the stairs. "Edward," she called up. "Esme and Carlisle are here to see you," she announced.

A voice that I guess belonged to Edward answered back with more strength than I expected from someone so sick, "No! I don't want them to see me like this! Please don't let them in," followed by the sound of retching.

Mrs. Masen halted us and hurried up the stairs.

I turned around and started heading down the stairs. "I know this isn't about me but I can't believe he didn't let me know," I said when I reached the living room again.

"Other Lady E, he's protecting you. And himself I guess. No man wants to appear weak to his love," Carlisle offered up as explanation.

"Oh, please. When we go to college he'll be puking up booze every weekend," I countered. "It's no big deal."

Carlisle looked at me and winked. "It will be if you outdrink him," he said smiling.

I turned away from Carlisle and headed into the kitchen. "Why doesn't he want my help? I don't understand. He knows my purpose in life is to help. It's just what I do," I said when I reached the counter and removed two drinking glasses from the cupboard. I filled each with water while Carlisle grabbed ice cubes out of the freezer.

"Esme, like you said it's no big deal," he said as he plopped the ice cubes into the glasses. "You are a terrific help to Edward. You tutored him through Calculus and got him playing the piano again. You can save your Florence Nightengaling for when he really needs it."

I took a sip of the cool water and tried to relax but the feeling of not being enough weighed heavily on me. I'm sure it seemed unimportant to Carlisle but I felt so useless to Edward in his time of need. So I tried to explain it to him.

"Carlisle," I huffed out. "You know you always say 'I'll know the right one when I see her'. Well, I thought that's what I am to Edward. Sure, Mrs. Masen is a great mother to him but I want to help. Help me help! What's good for a flu? Soup? Cold compresses?" I asked setting my glass on the counter and looking around the kitchen.

"Es," Carlisle sighed and stilled me with his empty hand. "I adore your need to help but really, Lady E has it under control. And you help in so many other ways. Charlie would be a wreck without you."

His words were so comforting as always and I was instantly calmed. I'm sure psychologists would say that my need to help stemmed from being unable to save my mother. Carlisle's compassion seemed to be innate.

He looked directly into my eyes and whispered, "And I do see her."

And that was the first day with absolutely no Edward that wasn't crap. Even with my mini panic attack. But it was also the day I kind of fell in love with my friend in my boyfriend's kitchen.


End file.
